Being alone is better than sitting next to a lover and feeling lonely.
I am surprisingly unemotional about my grandma being in the hospital. I’m not really sure why. I know this sounds selfish, but I don’t want to deal with my mom’s side of the family. I’ll go see her on Friday with my mom. It’s just like, she’s 80-something years old, and she’s been smoking since she was in her 20’s…did my cousins really think she’d stay alive forever? I feel like such a bitch saying that, but that’s the reality of the situation. She’s made my mom power of attorney, and doesn’t want to be resuscitated, or have a feeding tube. I’m sure once I visit her, I’ll cry and shit, but right now I don’t really feel anything. I actually find my cousins to be stupid, posting Facebook statuses about it…it’s like, is that really the place to talk about stuff like this? I don’t know. I’m bad with this whole consoling/family stuff.